Okay. So. I'm off the Eng-uh-lund for a night out tonight as the tag-along girl on a lad's (haha iPad keeps changing "lad's" to "lady's" ...sassy little tablet!) night out. I was going to do a post about general drunken behaviour or something along those lines, but I'm now thinking I'll opt for something a little more interactive. You can play along!
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to...The Pisshead Checklist....Gaaaame!
Fine, I'll never win my millions by thinking of names for board games. It's simple. I'm going to list the typical things I've been known to of a night out, and when I get back, I'll tell you which happened. Whoever guesses the most correctly wins..something. Awesome points. Here goes. Will I....?
1. Accidentally offend someone by mimicking their accent. What? People like that, don't they??
2. Buy rounds of drinks for people I don't/ barely even know because I'm drunk. And drunk me doesn't think money is real. And that shots buy people's love.
3. Fall over in my excitement because "they're playing my song!!!" FYI all of Drunk Becky's songs are her song.
4. Decide that I should be someone's wing man and "help them out" by shoving them into circles of strange women.
5. Make bff's with a woman in the toilets that I've never seen before and will never see again.
6. Attempt to make small talk with the bar staff:
What I think I'm saying: "good evening, sir! I hope your shift is a pleasant one. May I have a Strongbow?"
What bartender hears: "hahaha, hi! Have you seen my shoes? I like your face! Drink! Strongbow!! Dancing, hurry HURRY!" *hurls fistful of coins in bartender's direction and clacks back to dance floor*
7. Dance with my arms getting higher and higher as the night progresses until I am just thrashing with my palms to the ceiling.
8. Promptly have a mental breakdown at 3a.m. Kind of like Cinderella. But instead of my dress turning to rags, my thin veneer of sanity falls away, leaving me gasp-sobbing totally unprovoked. Until I hear MY SONG, immediately cheer up and return to the dance floor.
10. Despite the fact that I shrink away from other people's cameras like that witch from The Wizard of Oz (I'm meeeltiiiiing!!) in my sober state, I leap into other people's photographs like I've been let out on day release.
11. Claim that I'm "channelling" a celebrity. So far, I've been Kesha, Beyonce, Will Smith and Bear Grylls. Whoever could be next?
12. All of the above.
......my bet's on number 12.
EVERYBODY LOOK AT MY DRESS!!!