Holy shit, it's ready, you guys!!
10 Things is a collection of 10 ([gasp]) topics/lists and bits of waffle about the stuff that preoccupies my fragile little mind every day. You may have noticed that most of my blog posts feature a list somewhere withiin them. This is because I have an incredibly poor attention span and often forget how to communicate in paragraphs halfway through a post. This book is basically just a longer, sillier, more drawn out version of this here blog.
So if you like this here blog, then please do me the kindness of clicking on my super subtle link at the top of the page, and feed my need for attention by reading. Because, reader, you are so very, very good at reading. You might even get a medal after doing so for being such a stellar reader.
Disclaimer: You won't get a medal. Sorry.
If a total lack of medal isn't enough to get you interested, then fear not! I also have a list of why you should buy my book of lists, so you won't be able to resist (ha, rhymes)! I even put in pictures to make it super accessible. One aims to please.
1. Reading makes you smart. This lady reads all the time, and look how smart she is:
2. You obviously have a problem and a burning need to read lists. Otherwise, why would you be reading a list about a bunch of lists?
3. 10 Things is a paltry 77p. Less than most Greggs pasties, so you shan't go hungry, my corned beef loving compadres!
4. It's an eBook, so no one will see that you bought a book off of a girl with validation issues who lives on the internet. Simply flick on your Kindle, and if anyone asks, you can tell them you're reading A Brief History of Time or similar. Because you so smart (see above example of smartness).
5. You can read the whole thing in under an hour. Not because I wrote the whole first draft in a single day and had to stop because of a mild case of hurty fingers. Honest.
6. I will keep nagging you until you do read it. You may even wake up one day to this:
"Hey, friend. You reading my book yet??"
7. In the books' ePages, you may uncover the meaning of life.
8. Clue: It's cake.
9. If you don't have a Kindle, you could download the Kindle App for free...or... use this book as an excuse to purchase a Kindle and buy it lots of fabbylous covers and jackets, like you're Paris Hilton and the Kindle is a chihuahua. Albeit one that doesn't shit in your purse.
10. If I save up enough 77ps, maybe I can finally pay someone to teach this poor sod how to dance:
Have a heart. Buy 10 Things today.